Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Warm-ish days...

These are the days I live for. College is super stressful right now! I won't bore you with the details, but I am just so overwhelmed so looking at these photos of Kevin and I feeling so happy in each others' presence makes me smile. When I began dating Kevin I thought the age difference was nothing. It continues to be basically nothing but, there is one hard part about it. The hard part is not that there is a maturity gap like everyone thought there would be; the hard part is not the fact that I am not old enough to drink. The hard part is that I am a weird exception to every rule. When I met Kevin I was not intending to settle down with anybody ever. I never thought about having a man to settle down with and marry and then that night that I met Kevin, everything changed. My whole game plan was turned upside down. Now, all I hear from our families is that I need to enjoy being young. "You don't want kids now, you want to finish college and work the rest of your life so if anything would happen, God forbid, you would be okay on your own."

Don't get me wrong I do want to finish college and I do want to be a teacher, although I was planning on working toward a different degree when I first met Kevin. The hardest thing right now is that everyone is telling me..."Be yourself," and I am screaming (not literally) that I am myself. I am more myself than I have been in a long time and it is everyone else that is not accepting who I am. It is my dream to be a stay at home Mom and although I probably never will get to stay home with my kids, I am comfortable knowing that I will at least have summers with them. It is odd how much of a change I have gone through. My goals used to be wild, go all over the world before I was thirty, all kinds of adventurous things. Now my goals are nearly the same, just a bit more tamed. I am young, but who says that young girls can't want a family? Who says that you have to be out of college before you get married? Everybody that says things like that has made their own standard and I am not sorry to say I am not like any other standard. I have learned to take care of myself and I will not stop wanting to get married, to have a baby, to have my own garden, to visit different states, to visit all new parks, to explore the wilderness. I have learned that I have to be myself and whether everyone likes it or not THIS IS ME.

Look at this silly man. What a wonderful guy! I wouldn't trade his love for anything! I love him with all my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Hi again

    It's good that you're trying to be yourself and setting your own standards.

    People are different and want different things. Myself I don't think I'd cope with kids but some of my friends love the idea.

    Hang in there.



by Elain Gates