Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Rainy day : )

So today was rainy rainy rainy. Of course the days that I actually have to walk around on campus are rainy and then every other day is sunny and beautiful. Haha! Oh well, it was still a nice day! There were worms every where. I can definitely tell its spring...and nothing like April Showers Bring May Flowers.

My procedure went well! They hooked me up to lots of machines and an IV and then when they finally took me in to perform the procedure the man said as soon as the doctor said hi he would anesthetize me. When the doctor said hi I thought to myself "when am I going to fall asleep" and a second later I felt dizzy and then the next thing I knew the nurse was waking me up and my throat was a little sore. I felt goofy the rest of the day...but nothing too serious. And the good news....they didn't really find much. It is probably from not eating for so long, my stomach just produces too much acid. Since I have been eating pretty well for almost a year now, it should heal up with the help of some medicine. : ) So in other big deal!

I often go through spurts of energy where I realize how much I really should take care of myself and love myself. As I have gotten older I have realized how true it is that you must first love yourself before you can love anybody else. Loving yourself and loving yourself no matter what is so important! When you learn to nurture your own feelings and your own body you can really learn how to care for and nurture others.

Today Kevin and I went to my Dad's. My dad is such an interesting man. He makes plenty of money...but never has any. Its so confusing, but through everything it doesn't matter because I know he does have a good heart. I remember him trying to be so strong...and he is..and I remember him trying to convince me so many times to listen to his stories because he had so much more experience in life than I did, and he does. But, no matter what I see his hurt from my parents divorce still pouring out even though its nine years later. I see through his though guy front and see where I get my sensitivity. He is a genuine man, just too scared to show anybody and after moving out, despite the many times that I am so tempted to just call him some mean name for not helping me pay for things, I am finally able to see his true heart and see what a great man he really is. Just like the tough guy front that Kevin puts on that I can see through, I can see into my Dad's soul and see his true colors.

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by Elain Gates